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This week feels heavier every day. I can’t shake the discomfort from that man trespassing all over the place. I want to feel safe in my home and secure that my home is safe when I am not there. Since spring 2024 I have not been able to feel either of those things for a minute. Every time some man attacks my home, the animals around, or me, it increases and prolongs my stress. . It takes so much strength and time to get to a state of less alertness. It’s not just gone when they go. So that’s where I am right now. Recovering from the incident as much as possible. As usual though, there are no apologies, no assurances that it will not happen again, nothing at all. So I know it is likely to happen again. At least once in my life I’d like someone to show remorse for harming me. It’s never happened. Can’t trust anyone I guess.

Over the holidays my stomach lining was gone. I was sipping kombucha only for weeks. I’ve never felt so much physical pain. I am ready for all of this to be behind me now. I want to get back the safety I had and the beautiful life filled yard. I used to take pack naps midday outside. I’d stretch out on a lawn chair and the dogs I had with me would rest peacefully around me. It was bliss. Truly heaven and i knew it at the time.

I want that back

I haven’t checked on the little kitten yet. I know it is in good hands❤️ I will stop in before we go home tonight.

The animals in my life keep me going. I need to stop and take some breaths on these difficult days. They feel my stress if I am not trying to shake it off of me. I love them all so much.

Days old kitten crying for hours in my backyard. I kept watching for one of the cats around to take care of her. I drive around looking to see if a mommy had been hit by a car. (The last orphaned baby I found lost her mom to a car.)

I finally decided to take her to get her some milk. Gratefully!! The manager at petsmart had a rescue contact on her phone and got the baby a spot with a bottle feeder! I always doubt whether I am doing the right things for them. I’ll spoil the colony tomorrow to make up for taking the little one. But it was crying a long time and the raccoons were going to be out soon. Prayers for the kitten to find a perfect home and live a spoiled cat life❤️

They have gone above and beyond at that store. They’ve patiently helped me through a couple situations and they are so kind to Amy dog I bring in with me.

I care for these cats in isolation and out of necessity to protect their lives from the men next door who have hurt them. I’m so grateful when I have moments like this when others share the joy of these little lives with me❤️❤️

I didn’t take a picture of the kitten!! Why don’t I think of pictures? There’s always a camera here 🤷‍♀️ she looked like a tiny version of most of the cats here though so I’ll put one of them in this post

Not all bad.

I had to stop a walk early to run home. I’m tired of people being horrible. I’ve suffered through so much betrayal by people who I thought would never, I think I will never be able to trust anyone again. That’s fine. I won’t do the same things to others that they have done to me, they wont even notice. So whatever.

Plenty of good things today. I went to visit a kitty friend this morning. She was an orphaned kitty from one of the neighborhood cats. Mommy was hit by a car😢 the kitten was adopted and is living a beautifully spoiled life with a family who are obsessed with her😸

I’ve been outside most of the morning with the pups. And we will be back outside in a few. I need a breath after bad men cause problems. Gathering myself, counting my blessings, and hope the rest of the day is calm and productive.

Lots of rain today. Things will grow! There were lightening bugs in my yard again . Before the violence and destruction from the men next door my yard was filled with them at night. Some rewilding in the yard and they are coming back!

Actual new growth. After most of the native wildflowers were destroyed by yard was barren for a while. Late this spring I’ve had some beautiful new plants showing up!

A ton of clover has sprouted. I had been spreading clover seeds every year. It disappeared during the scary years. It’s returned now, but lots more of it!

There have been some plants appear out of nowhere. Some Mock strawberries and I found what I think is a common mullein. I’ll keep an eye on it and try to help it grow.

There’s quite a few new plants. I’m going to identify them and try to grow them all where they are and see what happens.

The past few years have been all about survival. Some men working on a home next door to mine decided it would be fun to get away with abusing a woman. They’ve killed and injured many animals, destroyed my property, killed off the majority of the plants in my yard, and harassed me and my dogs at any chance possible.

Ive fought back by making their abuse known to as many people that could possibly help as possible. Now there are days, and at some points weeks, where these men are not around to cause damage.

It is not completely behind me yet, but I have hope now. And I am going to live my life as though it is over.

This is a place where I hope to log my journey into a new way of living. My previous life is forever gone. Now there is room to create something new.