Later Monday morning

I’m definitely feeling tired and emotional this morning. I think my old pups in walking today would love to take a little pack nap with me. Hopefully nothing happens that prevents me from resting!

Yesterday afternoon I saw a small coyote out and about and limping around noon. I had four dogs with me at the time so I couldn’t watch where she might be going. I assume she was a mom looking for food. I didn’t see her this morning. I hope she’s eaten and is resting. I called the police and let them know she was around and not doing much if anything. I assume they drive by a couple times. Not a big deal, I know. But I’m thinking about her.

The past few mornings my backyard has been filled with busy skunks! Thank goodness!!

The past couple years have been heavy with yellow jackets and mostly pesky bugs after the destruction by that violent man.

The skunks came in and cleaned it right up! And the they are adorable and ridiculous 🦨 🦨🦨

I’m going to post about their extraordinary exterminating skills.

lol, my friends beagle sleeping over handled it brilliantly and calmly. They barely noticed him❤️❤️

I want to work on my next logbook project. And I want to start putting together a letter advocating for the rights of some of these animals, the cats, and caregivers. And I need to figure out how to condense a letter into a 180 word message for an online contact form.

And I need a nap.

This is weird. For 56 years of my life I barely spoke. It’s been a lifetime of people shutting me up. Shutting me down. Translating any word I might say into something they could condemn me for regardless of my meaning. I’ve been bullied, abused, neglected, and dismissed by every ‘family’ member and anyone who should have supported or protected me. And anyone who read the situation and saw someone they could bully.

After this violent man showed up. I can’t suppress anything anymore. I can’t deal with internalizing anything! I can’t quietly accept the scapegoating and bullying.

And now I can’t fit in enough words. It’s like they have just been stored up through my lifetime.

And now I can’t fit look back and see and hear how terrible these people have treated me. I could have done a lot in my life. I can see that had I been allowed I have always had talents, skills, and more than enough intelligence to do so many things.

Instead I heard only criticism and hate.

Ken’s repeated’ everywhere you go everyone around you is smarter, prettier, and more talented than you’

Seriously, fuck you Ken. And everyone who has let that happen to me.

Yesterday me and the dogs were sitting in coopers backyard quietly listening to a mourning dove coo for an hour. I’d love a little serenade like that. It’s mostly catbirds and blue jays in my yard right now though😂😂😂

I have plans written down to try to get cardinals and robins back someday. For now my lulls are a little over zealous. Luckily I love them too 🐦

Obviously I have no focus at the moment. A rest and a list and I’ll be ready for the afternoon