I may have written about this already. I was thinking about the women in my family ignoring my pain to protect the men’s comfort.
It’s always been that way. I’ve always been expendable to all of them.
When I was a young teenager i went to Karen, my dad’s wife because I was having unbearable periods. As usual, she immediately told my dad. She abandoned me. I cannot u destined why she would t at least talk to my mother, or any other woman! Anyone but Ken.
She was obligated to make sure I was going to be safe and cared for the moment I went to her.
Ken took me to some guy. Definitely NOT a gynecologist. Not even a normal doctor’s office. it was an office.
I’m was left alone with this grown man. He stuck his hands in my shirt and fondled my breasts. Then stared down my underwear for a while. He left the room without saying anything.
I had to go with my cheerful dad after I watching these men shaking hands.
I had never been to a real gynecologist before. I had no women in my life who talked to me or who would guide me. I had no one to talk to. And I had already spent a whole childhood being told to shut up about anything that hurt me. Starting with my brother, Brian.
Karen is just as guilty as Ken and that man. She was responsible for making sure I had a proper, safe experience.
I have asked Ken recently who this man was. He refuses to answer or acknowledge. I’m have also asked who Brian’s friends were who harmed me when I was a toddler. Not only am I not permitted to have answers, he gets extremely angry.
I haven’t written about the more extreme traumatic events from my childhood. Every one could have been prevented had I not been isolated and neglected. most happened after my parents put me in dangerous situations. Any signs of my sadness or anxiety about these traumas were shamed relentlessly and punished.
Karen Conley, you are directly responsible for Ken taking me to be molested when I was a child.
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