Brian Conley, born Douglas Brian Conley, December 16, 1963. Owner of Main Sail, LLC was the first person to sexually assault me.
I was a toddler. Under 5 yrs old. It’s hard to say because I remember my childhood years as a series of traumas and verbal abuse scenarios.
Brian and his friends forced me to look at them with their pants off. Then they cornered me and yelled at me to not tell.
I didn’t. They were constantly scaring me. All I remember is being terrified a lot, night terrors, and constant teasing from my brother and from my parents.
There was always mean teasing. Not funny at all.
There were always consequences for showing my pain and my fear. So as I grew up those fears were frequently spotted by predators.
I was never safe. My family criminally neglected me, so I had no safe space. I didn’t even have a safe bedroom until I was in third grade and we moved to Hudson.
My parents sent me to CVCA one year. Some fucking Walsh scum kept molesting me on the bus and no one helped me. The only people I felt safe with were the ‘bad girls’. They were kind to me, it was nice. So when they asked me to bring liquor, I brought a bottle from my parent’s cupboard! I’m proud of that. They drank it. It was awful so I only had that first sip. It was years before I got to an age where I wanted to drink with friends.
It got me, and them, expelled, thank god!! That’s the only way I was going to get away from being molested all the time. I’m sorry they got caught. I’m glad I did.
It wasn’t the last time I experienced being molested or raped. Not even close.
In fact, there has never once been a time that I have wanted to engage in sex or sexual activity.
Never. I don’t like sex. I never have. Whether it’s because of my childhood or because I’m on an asexual spectrum somewhere I don’t know. I does not matter!
It was always something that was done to me, coerced from me, or expected.
Even during my marriage I used to wake up because he was having sex with me while I was sleeping. I had to drink to seem willing
Not one person has ever asked for consent without it being coerced. No one has ever been concerned with how I feel about a sexual interaction. No concern whether I enjoyed it or not. Never.
My high school ‘boyfriend’
To hell with you Danny. I hope you rot horribly. He used to climb on top of me. I’d close my eyes and chant in my head “please be done, please be done,….”
I heard someone ask once if he felt weird about what he was doing. For context- at that point in my life I barely looked up at what was going on around me. I rarely talked. I couldn’t be home. But I was a teenager, so I didn’t want to be alone all the time. He was in college.
I wouldn’t recognize him or most of the people that were around then because I was not able to interact a lot.
What he did was rape me over and over.
I’ve brought up Brian abusing me as a child to family.
Not one of them will ever hold him accountable for anything he’s done to me. Every chance he’s had to harm me he has taken. He destroyed the little bit of life I had put together for myself after my mom died. She gave him the opportunity. I told her I would be hurt.
Brian is a man though. They will use me, slander me, judge me, scapegoat me, shun me, and hate me. It will never matter what nightmares he has inflicted on me. They will continue to blame me for his abuse of me. It doesn’t matter how much pain, rape, and abuse I endured through my childhood because of Brian and my parents grooming me to be unable to understand I didn’t deserve it. That entire family will demonize me for suffering abuse and not being sparkly and happy about it.
I hope karma comes to all of them for collectively committing and enabling a lifetime trauma on a vulnerable member of that family
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