Thursday

This week feels heavier every day. I can’t shake the discomfort from that man trespassing all over the place. I want to feel safe in my home and secure that my home is safe when I am not there. Since spring 2024 I have not been able to feel either of those things for a minute. Every time some man attacks my home, the animals around, or me, it increases and prolongs my stress. . It takes so much strength and time to get to a state of less alertness. It’s not just gone when they go. So that’s where I am right now. Recovering from the incident as much as possible. As usual though, there are no apologies, no assurances that it will not happen again, nothing at all. So I know it is likely to happen again. At least once in my life I’d like someone to show remorse for harming me. It’s never happened. Can’t trust anyone I guess.

Over the holidays my stomach lining was gone. I was sipping kombucha only for weeks. I’ve never felt so much physical pain. I am ready for all of this to be behind me now. I want to get back the safety I had and the beautiful life filled yard. I used to take pack naps midday outside. I’d stretch out on a lawn chair and the dogs I had with me would rest peacefully around me. It was bliss. Truly heaven and i knew it at the time.

I want that back

I haven’t checked on the little kitten yet. I know it is in good hands❤️ I will stop in before we go home tonight.

The animals in my life keep me going. I need to stop and take some breaths on these difficult days. They feel my stress if I am not trying to shake it off of me. I love them all so much.