There has been so much violence from men around my home for the past few years. Any group of men working on a neighboring house sets my nervous system on alert.
There are men working next door. The weather is also dreary and threatening today. Glad I appreciated the peaceful day yesterday!
I don’t know if trauma responses ever go away. I’d like the actual trauma situations to be gone now though so I can start finding out.
Feeling the alertness, the stress and anxiety and my mind is ruminating on unresolved attacks.
Yes, attacks. The violence from those men and the violent man next door, the bullying from his flying monkeys across the street, abuse and betrayal from the people who were supposed to be family – it’s a lot for anyone to live through. I know I have lived through more than most.
People don’t seem to be getting kinder anywhere either.
I have to maintain some hope that karma is real.
That someday I will be surrounded by non violent, animal loving, kind people. I hear about neighborhoods like that sometimes from other people. It could happen here.
I don’t need to have people to hang out with all the time or anything crazy like that. I like time alone.
I will be happy just to have people around that want the neighborhood pets and wildlife to be safe. People who love to see the bees and butterflies ❤️
People who don’t find joy in being aggressive and violent.
That’s all I want. Some peace around here. A sense of safety so I can start some healing.
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